Saturday, January 29, 2011
THE BOMB SHELL!
Come afternoon and I was up and ready to go back to the hospital. I had cleaned up and cooked a light meal with love. I loved Romeo so much, that I just wanted him to come back home to me.
I wasn’t used to sleeping alone anymore. I was addicted to his love. I neatly packed the lunch and set off. Just as I crossed passed the gate, I heard a car hooting. Sly, he was really apologetic for his misbehavior earlier on and begged me not to tell Romeo. I wasn’t going to do something that stupid anyway; the poor guy was in a hospital! So I asked him to forget about it as it was also erased in my memory. We reconciled and he drove me to hospital again.
By the time we got there, I was so surprised to find his family camped there as well. His elder sister, brother, aunts, uncles and cousins’! I wondered how they got informed but later learnt that Sly did it. He never went to sleep after the incidence; instead he went to alert Romeos family. And an inquiry session began. They asked me so many questions as if to suggest I was responsible for his admission in that place. I never allowed it to aggravate my moods though. I answered all their questions and slowly slid from vicinity. I just didn’t understand why the sudden change of attitude from his family.
I waited outside until they were done pampering him with sympathy. When they were out of sight, I sneaked back into the wards knowing that time was up, just to kiss by baby hallo. Upon arriving by his bed, he told me that he was feeling very tired and asked me to leave. Even before I could respond, another lady walked passed me as though to shove me out of the way and went ahead to peck him on his forehead!! JULLIET!! I was too startled to know what to think. Handy Sly held me by my elbow and guided me away from there. I didn’t understand what was going on.
‘Ever since this guy just walked through that door yesterday afternoon, everything seems to not add up’ I thought out loud. My good friend Sly asked me to not think about it but instead go home and give him time to recover. I was very humble in those days. I never liked to cross anyone’s path. Sly made a lot of sense at this juncture that even though I had endless questions unanswered, I knew that Romeo will come home and explain it all to me. I was that patient.
Four days later, I went back to the hospital to see how the love of my life was getting on, HE WAS GONE! He had been discharged on the same day early in the morning. He wasn’t in hospital and neither was he in our house. I didn’t know where his brother resided but I knew his sister’s luxurious residence in the outskirts of the city. She was married to a famous Kenyan Cricket Player. They lived a very fine life; Porsche cars, home and a beautiful daughter. She was also expectant at the time. It was quite a distance to this home but I gathered courage and went there.
By this time, after all that had happened, all that I wanted was ANSWERS. I had left too many stones unturned. My job interview could wait just a little longer. For some reason, good or bad, my heart felt unbalanced. Something was missing somewhere and I had to get answers.
I rang the bell at the gate and the house keeper warmly received me.
“mama yuko?” I frantically asked meaning is mama in? She ushered me past the living room into the kitchen where I met Anita(not real name).
I told her all that had happened and asked if she could explain what was going on and where Romeo was. She didn’t give me much of an answer. She only informed me that her brother had gone to stay at his aunt’s house and that he was never going to come back home unless we talked first.
‘Talk?’ I thought silently, ‘Talk how when he’s avoiding me?’
I went the aunt’s house and arrived by dusk. I was well received there too. Aunt Rachel had a very beautiful home as well. It was spacious enough to accommodate her four children, herself, her house keeper, my Romeo and still have space for two more guests. I spent some time with the aunt before she showed me to his room.
He looked so much better. He was all recovered and walking around the compound. My walking into his room somewhat vanished his generous handsome smile. And he was now wearing a professional frown. I call it so because it was a frown like that of a projects manager who prepares for a presentation but for one reason or another, he forgot his notes at home. That kind of frown crossed over Romeo’s face but that didn’t stop me from passionately hugging him.
“I missed you so much baby!” I said as I tightly squeezed him to my chest. To my surprise, he hugged me so tight, like a person who is not ready to let go. I couldn’t hold back a tear but I tried to keep up a firm voice and finally ask him the question,
“Just what happened sweetie?” So anxious was I to listen to what he had to say that I scooted over to his bed and crossed my legs in a meditation position, ready to hear him out. This time I had a gentle smile on my face.
“Did you start working yet?” He asked coldly. I knew straight away that he was looking for a way to brew an argument but I wasn’t going to let him. So I gave him a gentle peck on the lips not withstanding that I had watched his ex girlfriend kiss him on his forehead. I let bygones be bygones and avoided that topic by all means.
He shrugged his shoulders as though he didn’t want to talk about it but I was already decided that the day was not going to end without me getting my answers.
“Baby I have all night to listen, I just promise you that I am not leaving this place without answers” I began talking in persuasion as I softly stroked his hands.
I was going to continue sweet talking when he suddenly interrupted me callously;
“I have AIDS!”
I wasn’t used to sleeping alone anymore. I was addicted to his love. I neatly packed the lunch and set off. Just as I crossed passed the gate, I heard a car hooting. Sly, he was really apologetic for his misbehavior earlier on and begged me not to tell Romeo. I wasn’t going to do something that stupid anyway; the poor guy was in a hospital! So I asked him to forget about it as it was also erased in my memory. We reconciled and he drove me to hospital again.
By the time we got there, I was so surprised to find his family camped there as well. His elder sister, brother, aunts, uncles and cousins’! I wondered how they got informed but later learnt that Sly did it. He never went to sleep after the incidence; instead he went to alert Romeos family. And an inquiry session began. They asked me so many questions as if to suggest I was responsible for his admission in that place. I never allowed it to aggravate my moods though. I answered all their questions and slowly slid from vicinity. I just didn’t understand why the sudden change of attitude from his family.
I waited outside until they were done pampering him with sympathy. When they were out of sight, I sneaked back into the wards knowing that time was up, just to kiss by baby hallo. Upon arriving by his bed, he told me that he was feeling very tired and asked me to leave. Even before I could respond, another lady walked passed me as though to shove me out of the way and went ahead to peck him on his forehead!! JULLIET!! I was too startled to know what to think. Handy Sly held me by my elbow and guided me away from there. I didn’t understand what was going on.
‘Ever since this guy just walked through that door yesterday afternoon, everything seems to not add up’ I thought out loud. My good friend Sly asked me to not think about it but instead go home and give him time to recover. I was very humble in those days. I never liked to cross anyone’s path. Sly made a lot of sense at this juncture that even though I had endless questions unanswered, I knew that Romeo will come home and explain it all to me. I was that patient.
Four days later, I went back to the hospital to see how the love of my life was getting on, HE WAS GONE! He had been discharged on the same day early in the morning. He wasn’t in hospital and neither was he in our house. I didn’t know where his brother resided but I knew his sister’s luxurious residence in the outskirts of the city. She was married to a famous Kenyan Cricket Player. They lived a very fine life; Porsche cars, home and a beautiful daughter. She was also expectant at the time. It was quite a distance to this home but I gathered courage and went there.
By this time, after all that had happened, all that I wanted was ANSWERS. I had left too many stones unturned. My job interview could wait just a little longer. For some reason, good or bad, my heart felt unbalanced. Something was missing somewhere and I had to get answers.
I rang the bell at the gate and the house keeper warmly received me.
“mama yuko?” I frantically asked meaning is mama in? She ushered me past the living room into the kitchen where I met Anita(not real name).
I told her all that had happened and asked if she could explain what was going on and where Romeo was. She didn’t give me much of an answer. She only informed me that her brother had gone to stay at his aunt’s house and that he was never going to come back home unless we talked first.
‘Talk?’ I thought silently, ‘Talk how when he’s avoiding me?’
I went the aunt’s house and arrived by dusk. I was well received there too. Aunt Rachel had a very beautiful home as well. It was spacious enough to accommodate her four children, herself, her house keeper, my Romeo and still have space for two more guests. I spent some time with the aunt before she showed me to his room.
He looked so much better. He was all recovered and walking around the compound. My walking into his room somewhat vanished his generous handsome smile. And he was now wearing a professional frown. I call it so because it was a frown like that of a projects manager who prepares for a presentation but for one reason or another, he forgot his notes at home. That kind of frown crossed over Romeo’s face but that didn’t stop me from passionately hugging him.
“I missed you so much baby!” I said as I tightly squeezed him to my chest. To my surprise, he hugged me so tight, like a person who is not ready to let go. I couldn’t hold back a tear but I tried to keep up a firm voice and finally ask him the question,
“Just what happened sweetie?” So anxious was I to listen to what he had to say that I scooted over to his bed and crossed my legs in a meditation position, ready to hear him out. This time I had a gentle smile on my face.
“Did you start working yet?” He asked coldly. I knew straight away that he was looking for a way to brew an argument but I wasn’t going to let him. So I gave him a gentle peck on the lips not withstanding that I had watched his ex girlfriend kiss him on his forehead. I let bygones be bygones and avoided that topic by all means.
He shrugged his shoulders as though he didn’t want to talk about it but I was already decided that the day was not going to end without me getting my answers.
“Baby I have all night to listen, I just promise you that I am not leaving this place without answers” I began talking in persuasion as I softly stroked his hands.
I was going to continue sweet talking when he suddenly interrupted me callously;
“I have AIDS!”
Friday, January 28, 2011
INTO THE WARDS.
The hospital was not a pleasant sight. Especially in the I.C.U. department. I had never seen so much blood all at once, bruises and injuries beyond description.
In fact I remember this young girl who was brought in bleeding thick clots of blood from her private parts. She wailed hysterically until she sedated before being rushed to the theater.
That was the ONLY patient I noticed being attended to urgently. The rest of us just watched each other helplessly. A man on a stretcher just a few feet from Romeo, had been ran over by a car. I couldn’t tell his waist from his chest. Everything seemed jumbled up.
Romeo by now was calm. Whatever it was that they injected him, seemed to work well. He was no longer coughing and panting. His queasiness had ceased too.
Close to 4a.m. but I was afraid to even blink. I was too shaken by the flow of events since my man walked into our humble home. The word ‘Traumatized’ would fit in well to describe how I felt. Plus a little of fatigue but that didn’t even register.
And by close to 5am, we were gestured to an inner part of the hospitals. In here was a complete opposite of all that we had been watching all night. In here was total peace and quiet. I later realized that we were taking the elevators up to a ward. Before he could be taken into the ward, we again had to go through what to me seemed like a repetition on procedure. Signing forms all over again. At one point I remember asking Sly if we could just go home and forget about everything. It all began to feel like a dream that I needed to get up from, a nightmare. He responded to my obstinacy with a cold look that suggested I shut up. And I did exactly that.
Romeo was now sound asleep. I on the other hand was now unruffled. Having a sense of calmness, I began to slowly doze of. In the middle of my snoozing, I heard Sly and a lady whispering in mother tongue,
“Weh! Kou ti kwega! Matiumaga! Ucio no Ngai!” meaning, ‘that place is not good. It is only God’
I jerked from the slumber just to find myself on a hard bench. They had taken him away! Not knowing whom to ask or what to ask, I began running round in confusion. Sly held me down assuring me that everything was alright. I asked to see Romeo and was taken into the ward.
He was lying helplessly on a mattress on the ground. All the beds were full with two patients on each bed. The bed that Romeo was to sleep, had in it a patient who was just skin and bones, coughing in pain and groaning. Sly thought it better for him to have his mattress stretched on the ground until a patient was discharged or passed on.
In the pungency of needles and medicine, I had to leave my sweetheart a lay on that floor. I broke out in tears again. My heart was in distress, as I watched him hopelessly before the nurse ordered us to leave the premises
This marked the beginning of anguish.
***************************************************************************************************
.We quietly drove back home, not uttering one word. It had been a very long day for me yes, but still, I didn’t see myself sleeping on our big bed all alone. Hence I asked Sly to stay over with me. At least until I fell asleep. After a warm cup of coffee and a snack, we lay on the couch. I tucked myself in his arms for security. The world didn’t feel like a safe place for me anymore. Sly meekly complied and squeezed me a tight hug of assurance. He was ever our very good friend.
At least until I felt a hard bulge in my behind. He was as hard as a rock! Slowly trying to slide his big hands under my blouse, he rubbed himself against me. I jumped off the couch in hysteria! I could not believe that happened!
‘MEN!!!’ I thought to myself ‘they never cease to take advantage, no matter what the situation. I only wanted him to scare away the horror, not to slip things in me!’
In disgust I ran to the room and locked myself. He came knocking on the door with a rhyme of apologies. I was too embarrassed to retort. So I asked him to shut the door behind him when he leaves the house. That was a clear sign that I didn’t want anything to do with him ever again. Later when I come to think of it, its like he expected me to somehow pay for all the favors’ he had for me the previous night. Having taken time out to do almost everything while I only cried like a baby all night, all the way till admission of Romeo then bringing me back home, what better way to thank him? But NO! Not with all the love I had for my man. The idea was disgustingly unthinkable! I locked the door behind him and ran back to our room to cry it all out. I recaptured all that happened and concluded that the devil was only trying me. I was not going to let him have the last laugh. I was going to fight him back instead.
With all these thoughts and imaginations racing trough my mind, I drifted into sleep.
In fact I remember this young girl who was brought in bleeding thick clots of blood from her private parts. She wailed hysterically until she sedated before being rushed to the theater.
That was the ONLY patient I noticed being attended to urgently. The rest of us just watched each other helplessly. A man on a stretcher just a few feet from Romeo, had been ran over by a car. I couldn’t tell his waist from his chest. Everything seemed jumbled up.
Romeo by now was calm. Whatever it was that they injected him, seemed to work well. He was no longer coughing and panting. His queasiness had ceased too.
Close to 4a.m. but I was afraid to even blink. I was too shaken by the flow of events since my man walked into our humble home. The word ‘Traumatized’ would fit in well to describe how I felt. Plus a little of fatigue but that didn’t even register.
And by close to 5am, we were gestured to an inner part of the hospitals. In here was a complete opposite of all that we had been watching all night. In here was total peace and quiet. I later realized that we were taking the elevators up to a ward. Before he could be taken into the ward, we again had to go through what to me seemed like a repetition on procedure. Signing forms all over again. At one point I remember asking Sly if we could just go home and forget about everything. It all began to feel like a dream that I needed to get up from, a nightmare. He responded to my obstinacy with a cold look that suggested I shut up. And I did exactly that.
Romeo was now sound asleep. I on the other hand was now unruffled. Having a sense of calmness, I began to slowly doze of. In the middle of my snoozing, I heard Sly and a lady whispering in mother tongue,
“Weh! Kou ti kwega! Matiumaga! Ucio no Ngai!” meaning, ‘that place is not good. It is only God’
I jerked from the slumber just to find myself on a hard bench. They had taken him away! Not knowing whom to ask or what to ask, I began running round in confusion. Sly held me down assuring me that everything was alright. I asked to see Romeo and was taken into the ward.
He was lying helplessly on a mattress on the ground. All the beds were full with two patients on each bed. The bed that Romeo was to sleep, had in it a patient who was just skin and bones, coughing in pain and groaning. Sly thought it better for him to have his mattress stretched on the ground until a patient was discharged or passed on.
In the pungency of needles and medicine, I had to leave my sweetheart a lay on that floor. I broke out in tears again. My heart was in distress, as I watched him hopelessly before the nurse ordered us to leave the premises
This marked the beginning of anguish.
***************************************************************************************************
.We quietly drove back home, not uttering one word. It had been a very long day for me yes, but still, I didn’t see myself sleeping on our big bed all alone. Hence I asked Sly to stay over with me. At least until I fell asleep. After a warm cup of coffee and a snack, we lay on the couch. I tucked myself in his arms for security. The world didn’t feel like a safe place for me anymore. Sly meekly complied and squeezed me a tight hug of assurance. He was ever our very good friend.
At least until I felt a hard bulge in my behind. He was as hard as a rock! Slowly trying to slide his big hands under my blouse, he rubbed himself against me. I jumped off the couch in hysteria! I could not believe that happened!
‘MEN!!!’ I thought to myself ‘they never cease to take advantage, no matter what the situation. I only wanted him to scare away the horror, not to slip things in me!’
In disgust I ran to the room and locked myself. He came knocking on the door with a rhyme of apologies. I was too embarrassed to retort. So I asked him to shut the door behind him when he leaves the house. That was a clear sign that I didn’t want anything to do with him ever again. Later when I come to think of it, its like he expected me to somehow pay for all the favors’ he had for me the previous night. Having taken time out to do almost everything while I only cried like a baby all night, all the way till admission of Romeo then bringing me back home, what better way to thank him? But NO! Not with all the love I had for my man. The idea was disgustingly unthinkable! I locked the door behind him and ran back to our room to cry it all out. I recaptured all that happened and concluded that the devil was only trying me. I was not going to let him have the last laugh. I was going to fight him back instead.
With all these thoughts and imaginations racing trough my mind, I drifted into sleep.
Friday, January 14, 2011
NEW JOB!
So anxious was I to start my very NEW job, that my nights seemed longer than my days. Everyday I would wake up and countdown. I arranged clothes that I would wear on my first week.
I focused on trousers and tops. It seemed like a good idea to wear trousers consecutively, then skirts the following week. Then again I thought of wearing a trouser one day then a skirt the next. I was too excited to decide. With so many pairs of shoes that Romeo had bought me, footwear was not a dilemma at this point in time.
I developed a love for the dressing mirror within a span of days. Sometimes holding serious conversations with my image and checking out my facial expressions. That was how obsessed I was by the idea of ‘first time’ employment. But I always made sure to do this in my privacy. It was my little secret untold.
One day, Romeo came home earlier than usual. I thought he wanted to surprise me with an afternoon get down, which he so often did, only on this day it was barely noon. I was lying on the couch catching up on a movie.
“Hey babes?” was all he said and went straight into the room.
Naturally, my mind cooked up an assortment of naughty ideas. I was all giggles.
Promptly, I ran to the kitchen, opened the fridge, picked out some left over supper and tossed it in the microwave. Romeo was a styled up man. He loved to look and feel good about everything around him. He adored comfort by all means and worked his back tirelessly for it.
Tall, slim, well shaped, light skin and handsome with very dark dreadlocks. He eyes were reasonably big and round with brown pupils. His lips had a pretty shade of pink. Many a times I teased him by calling him ‘pinky lips’. This man was irresistible I must admit, but faithful. He hardly noticed a skirt from a hipster. I loved that about him.
But he was also a mysterious kind of guy. I thought that after so much intimacy, he would open up and tell me all about himself just like I did. But NO! Not Romeo. He was discreet, very conservative and sensitive to his personal being. The good thing is that he trusted me. I was never the nosy type of a lady who would want to know it all. Instead I knew how to respect opinion and privacy. This was especially as a result of my up bringing by my step folks. I never had confidence in myself to speak up or speak out. In fact I was best at curling myself in a corner if mocked or scorned.
I therefore took no interest in snooping around Romeos business. All I knew was that he was a personal driver to some rich guy in town. They were so well acquainted that he called his boss ‘buddy’. Strange as that may sound, it was so.
With the rice and beef curry nicely warmed, I set up the dining table and went into the room. In my mind I thought it a good idea to first have him well fed so that he may have good energy for an afternoon catch.
“Sweetie, lunch is re…..a…dy… What?” I exclaimed in panic and confusion.
He was ALL sweaty and red. His skin so pale and eyes had a deep red tan. Halfway covered in the beddings, beads of sweat run down his fore head as his eyes rolled up towards the roof. I could only see the white eyeballs. His pupils were not visible.
I walked in slowly in shock and noticed heave on the floor, just by the bedside. Horrified at the scene, I trembled as I wondered what to do or where to start. What was wrong? Had he been food poisoned? Still in shock and perplexity, I swiftly ran to his side crying, not knowing what to say or ask.
“Wh…wh…at? Wh…how?” was all I found myself stammering.
He didn’t respond. He simply shivered and kept his eyes rolled while panting. Even before I could utter Jack Robinson, another round of vomit was all over me. I was trying to hold him by the head as my hands slid in his sweat when he threw up on my chest. All soaked in hot fowl smelling gag, I jumped off the bed and quickly stripped half naked. Hastily I ran to the bathroom, grabbed a small towel, dumped it and ran back to dab his forehead. I realized this wasn’t working so I speedily dashed back to the kitchen, filled a bowl with water, grabbed a kitchen clothe and ran to first aid him. This is where all the first aid I had ever learned in my life flowed back into my head.
Within moments, he had calmed down and was now breathing inaudibly. He silently dozed off.
Everything was running through my mind. Questions were endless. I cleaned up the mess in total confusion but consoled myself with an assumption that it was most probably food poisoning. He most probably ate something bad while at work. Or maybe he fed on a spoilt leftover snack. Whatever it was, I was sure that it wasn’t consumed in my house because I didn’t feel sick at all.
An hour went by and he was still lying in the same position. He hadn’t moved an inch. I was now sitting by his side observing him. Then he began murmuring. He spoke but I couldn’t figure out what he was saying. It sounded like he was asking for something. I put my ear nearer to his lips so I could listen closely, then I heard him so softly asking for water. His voice was so weak.
I was well equipped with all I thought he would ask for. A clean clothe, bowl of clean water, fresh drinking water and even food! I poured water into a glass half full, supported his head and slowly sipped him. He gulped as if he had stayed for days in a desert with no water. One could hear the sounds he made as he swallowed from outside the room.
Once his thirst was quenched, he slowly turned away and faced the other side. He was not telling me anything and this began to frustrate me. My patience was worn out by now, so I gently asked him.
“Sweetie, please tell me what happened? Did you eat something strange today? Is your stomach aching? Where does it hurt? Why do you have a fever?”
No answer. He only went on complaining of pain in his ribs and shivers.
We went through another hour of total silence. Sometimes he was so silent that I would place my cheek just by his nose to see if he was breathing. For some reason, I was so shaken to a point of worry. He was also coughing a lot.
As time went by, it grew darker. Dusk drew in darkness. I never even thought of cooking that day. I didn’t feel hungry at all.
His cough got even worse. At this point I began recalling the doldrums he had exposed lately. For the past week he had not been all cheerful like he used to. I assumed that he was a little green-eyed by the fact that I wasn’t going to depend on him so much any more. One time he even asked me if I had lacked anything while in his care. He found it a little difficult to understand that I only wanted to keep busy outside of the house. Much as it didn’t seem to make sense to him, he modestly concurred with the idea.
As all this thoughts raced through my mind, he made on outrageous cough that jerked my mind back to the room. As I turned to him, he signed as if to ask for something to spit on. I put a small bucket before him that I had kept aside just incase he wanted to throw up again. He sputtered a thick pink discharge that resembled a chunk of meat!
‘Enough is enough!’ I said to myself as I sprung out of the bed and ran to a neighbors’ house.
Sly is what we called him. He earned this name from his ‘smooth operator’ nature. Sly could find his way through to utterly ANYTHING. I remember how one day, we invited him over for dinner, after which we were sipping on liquor when Sly noticed Romeos snake skin cowboy boots. Sly was a guy who told many jokes that by the time he was done, he would leave us in rib-cracking pain. He began by telling us how we wouldn’t know when those boots shall leave our house in his feet. And true to his word, the lad left in the snake boots. Romeo ultimately gave them to him at his own free will.
I thumped on his door unconsciously. He opened to an enthralled face as tears streamed from my eyes. I could hardly speak so I ushered him to our house. We were only two houses apart. Wedged in bewilderment, he hastily trailed behind me. When we got to the house he asked me the same questions I had been asking myself. What happened?
Without wasting time, he dashed for his car keys and we rushed Romeo to the closest health facility. It was a small private clinic run by Nuns. After briefly examining him and running a few tests, they gave him a shot of what to date I don’t know then asked us to rush him to the National Government Hospital. They had stabilized his condition, but advised he shouldn’t be taken back home. By this time I felt like I was sweating even in my teeth. I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I noticed that my tears irritated Sly but I couldn’t control them. While he drove, I sat at the back with Romeo’s head rested on my laps. He was serene after the jab.
The events of that fateful day were ALL NEW to me. I had NEVER in my life encountered anything yet close to it. From the beginning when he walked into the house to the time when we got to the hospital.
In those days, only money talked. No money no attendance. Due to a relay of activities, my wallet was nowhere in the picture. Sly had to bail me out on this one. Romeo regained once again and was now vomiting red stuff. He was taken through so many tests, chest x-ray, and urine samples yet again. On this day I realized why people discredited Government Hospitals. We had arrived in this one at around 8.30pm. After so long procedures, this including the paying of bills, examinations and a lot of waiting, it was decided that Romeo had to be admitted. This conclusion was made at 5AM in the morning!!
(To be continued……………………………..)
I focused on trousers and tops. It seemed like a good idea to wear trousers consecutively, then skirts the following week. Then again I thought of wearing a trouser one day then a skirt the next. I was too excited to decide. With so many pairs of shoes that Romeo had bought me, footwear was not a dilemma at this point in time.
I developed a love for the dressing mirror within a span of days. Sometimes holding serious conversations with my image and checking out my facial expressions. That was how obsessed I was by the idea of ‘first time’ employment. But I always made sure to do this in my privacy. It was my little secret untold.
One day, Romeo came home earlier than usual. I thought he wanted to surprise me with an afternoon get down, which he so often did, only on this day it was barely noon. I was lying on the couch catching up on a movie.
“Hey babes?” was all he said and went straight into the room.
Naturally, my mind cooked up an assortment of naughty ideas. I was all giggles.
Promptly, I ran to the kitchen, opened the fridge, picked out some left over supper and tossed it in the microwave. Romeo was a styled up man. He loved to look and feel good about everything around him. He adored comfort by all means and worked his back tirelessly for it.
Tall, slim, well shaped, light skin and handsome with very dark dreadlocks. He eyes were reasonably big and round with brown pupils. His lips had a pretty shade of pink. Many a times I teased him by calling him ‘pinky lips’. This man was irresistible I must admit, but faithful. He hardly noticed a skirt from a hipster. I loved that about him.
But he was also a mysterious kind of guy. I thought that after so much intimacy, he would open up and tell me all about himself just like I did. But NO! Not Romeo. He was discreet, very conservative and sensitive to his personal being. The good thing is that he trusted me. I was never the nosy type of a lady who would want to know it all. Instead I knew how to respect opinion and privacy. This was especially as a result of my up bringing by my step folks. I never had confidence in myself to speak up or speak out. In fact I was best at curling myself in a corner if mocked or scorned.
I therefore took no interest in snooping around Romeos business. All I knew was that he was a personal driver to some rich guy in town. They were so well acquainted that he called his boss ‘buddy’. Strange as that may sound, it was so.
With the rice and beef curry nicely warmed, I set up the dining table and went into the room. In my mind I thought it a good idea to first have him well fed so that he may have good energy for an afternoon catch.
“Sweetie, lunch is re…..a…dy… What?” I exclaimed in panic and confusion.
He was ALL sweaty and red. His skin so pale and eyes had a deep red tan. Halfway covered in the beddings, beads of sweat run down his fore head as his eyes rolled up towards the roof. I could only see the white eyeballs. His pupils were not visible.
I walked in slowly in shock and noticed heave on the floor, just by the bedside. Horrified at the scene, I trembled as I wondered what to do or where to start. What was wrong? Had he been food poisoned? Still in shock and perplexity, I swiftly ran to his side crying, not knowing what to say or ask.
“Wh…wh…at? Wh…how?” was all I found myself stammering.
He didn’t respond. He simply shivered and kept his eyes rolled while panting. Even before I could utter Jack Robinson, another round of vomit was all over me. I was trying to hold him by the head as my hands slid in his sweat when he threw up on my chest. All soaked in hot fowl smelling gag, I jumped off the bed and quickly stripped half naked. Hastily I ran to the bathroom, grabbed a small towel, dumped it and ran back to dab his forehead. I realized this wasn’t working so I speedily dashed back to the kitchen, filled a bowl with water, grabbed a kitchen clothe and ran to first aid him. This is where all the first aid I had ever learned in my life flowed back into my head.
Within moments, he had calmed down and was now breathing inaudibly. He silently dozed off.
Everything was running through my mind. Questions were endless. I cleaned up the mess in total confusion but consoled myself with an assumption that it was most probably food poisoning. He most probably ate something bad while at work. Or maybe he fed on a spoilt leftover snack. Whatever it was, I was sure that it wasn’t consumed in my house because I didn’t feel sick at all.
An hour went by and he was still lying in the same position. He hadn’t moved an inch. I was now sitting by his side observing him. Then he began murmuring. He spoke but I couldn’t figure out what he was saying. It sounded like he was asking for something. I put my ear nearer to his lips so I could listen closely, then I heard him so softly asking for water. His voice was so weak.
I was well equipped with all I thought he would ask for. A clean clothe, bowl of clean water, fresh drinking water and even food! I poured water into a glass half full, supported his head and slowly sipped him. He gulped as if he had stayed for days in a desert with no water. One could hear the sounds he made as he swallowed from outside the room.
Once his thirst was quenched, he slowly turned away and faced the other side. He was not telling me anything and this began to frustrate me. My patience was worn out by now, so I gently asked him.
“Sweetie, please tell me what happened? Did you eat something strange today? Is your stomach aching? Where does it hurt? Why do you have a fever?”
No answer. He only went on complaining of pain in his ribs and shivers.
We went through another hour of total silence. Sometimes he was so silent that I would place my cheek just by his nose to see if he was breathing. For some reason, I was so shaken to a point of worry. He was also coughing a lot.
As time went by, it grew darker. Dusk drew in darkness. I never even thought of cooking that day. I didn’t feel hungry at all.
His cough got even worse. At this point I began recalling the doldrums he had exposed lately. For the past week he had not been all cheerful like he used to. I assumed that he was a little green-eyed by the fact that I wasn’t going to depend on him so much any more. One time he even asked me if I had lacked anything while in his care. He found it a little difficult to understand that I only wanted to keep busy outside of the house. Much as it didn’t seem to make sense to him, he modestly concurred with the idea.
As all this thoughts raced through my mind, he made on outrageous cough that jerked my mind back to the room. As I turned to him, he signed as if to ask for something to spit on. I put a small bucket before him that I had kept aside just incase he wanted to throw up again. He sputtered a thick pink discharge that resembled a chunk of meat!
‘Enough is enough!’ I said to myself as I sprung out of the bed and ran to a neighbors’ house.
Sly is what we called him. He earned this name from his ‘smooth operator’ nature. Sly could find his way through to utterly ANYTHING. I remember how one day, we invited him over for dinner, after which we were sipping on liquor when Sly noticed Romeos snake skin cowboy boots. Sly was a guy who told many jokes that by the time he was done, he would leave us in rib-cracking pain. He began by telling us how we wouldn’t know when those boots shall leave our house in his feet. And true to his word, the lad left in the snake boots. Romeo ultimately gave them to him at his own free will.
I thumped on his door unconsciously. He opened to an enthralled face as tears streamed from my eyes. I could hardly speak so I ushered him to our house. We were only two houses apart. Wedged in bewilderment, he hastily trailed behind me. When we got to the house he asked me the same questions I had been asking myself. What happened?
Without wasting time, he dashed for his car keys and we rushed Romeo to the closest health facility. It was a small private clinic run by Nuns. After briefly examining him and running a few tests, they gave him a shot of what to date I don’t know then asked us to rush him to the National Government Hospital. They had stabilized his condition, but advised he shouldn’t be taken back home. By this time I felt like I was sweating even in my teeth. I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I noticed that my tears irritated Sly but I couldn’t control them. While he drove, I sat at the back with Romeo’s head rested on my laps. He was serene after the jab.
The events of that fateful day were ALL NEW to me. I had NEVER in my life encountered anything yet close to it. From the beginning when he walked into the house to the time when we got to the hospital.
In those days, only money talked. No money no attendance. Due to a relay of activities, my wallet was nowhere in the picture. Sly had to bail me out on this one. Romeo regained once again and was now vomiting red stuff. He was taken through so many tests, chest x-ray, and urine samples yet again. On this day I realized why people discredited Government Hospitals. We had arrived in this one at around 8.30pm. After so long procedures, this including the paying of bills, examinations and a lot of waiting, it was decided that Romeo had to be admitted. This conclusion was made at 5AM in the morning!!
(To be continued……………………………..)
Thursday, January 6, 2011
FROM A LONER TO A LOVER.
As if finding myself in Romeo’s bed wasn’t bad enough, Julliet decides to come and try to make amence with her man on this very morning. We didn’t expect her at all so naturally I answered the door half asleep with a towel wrapped around me.
Opening the door totally sobered me up. It was her. Julz. I was startled. I stood at the door like a stooge. She gave me suspicious look weighing me from top to bottom with a sneer. She shoved me to the side and walked straight into the bedroom where she found an even worse scene. At least I was in a towel. Romeo was in his full birthday suit. I quickly slipped into a dress and dashed to the kitchen. All I could hear was screams and bangs. The next thing I knew, Romeo was throwing out all her belongings and telling her straight to her face,
“It was over a long time ago. It just took me time to realize.”
She threw herself on the crying bitterly. She asked me why. How I could do this to her yet I was like a sister. I cried too. I was drowned in guilt. To date I swear, I didn’t mean for it to happen. Alcohol just tends to trick the mind sometimes. I wished I could explain to her but every time I tried to utter a word, I only cried out loud. The worst part was when Romeo asked me to shut the door when she leaves, and he locked himself in his room. I can’t help hating myself for that day. It was a day never to forget. Julliet humbly picked her belongings and bid me good bye. Her last words to me were,
“I only pity you”
I thought to myself that even if it was me in her shoes, I would have said the same. How could I be so stupid and so blind? How could I let this happen? The girl who saved me from my distress?
I blamed myself.
I locked the door behind her and Romeo walked out of his room apologizing to me. Whatever for I didn’t understand then. I was so confused. He gave me a tight hug repeating himself time and again,
“I am so sorry baby”
I burst into tears in his arms telling him that it was my fault. That I should have said no. That was the first time he uttered the three little words ‘I LOVE YOU’.
It took me time to recover but in the end I did. I moved into his room and was officially called his wife. (Come we stay) We build a strong love crazy about one another. Romeo was just perfect, all loving and romantic. He didn’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day to bring me roses. He didn’t sit back and watch me do the house chores. He used to have a guys night out but not after we fell in love. He worshiped the ground I walked on. He treasured and pampered me. He taught me how to shoot pool, taught me the art of making love. Being away from him for hours felt like days. I was that fond of his love. I felt like it was all too good to be true.
With time, I made introductions with my folks. He was an orphan but had an extended family which he introduced me to. Within about 4 months, we had a customary wedding. His family and mine met, exchanged gifts and blessed us. Now I felt like a wife. For my step mother, it was like she was more than glad that I had left the scene. Her family was now a nuclear one. I also felt relieved and settled. I remember I was the most suspected member of the family. They all used to look down on me. I would get tested every January and July for pregnancy, STD’s(even though I knew just one boy the), drugs and HIV. Once, my urine tested positive for substance abuse. I was given a thorough flogging for that and kicked out of the house. I didn’t mind it. In fact I enjoyed the peace and quiet.
I was now living in my own house with my own husband and I loved it. I was especially relived of those annual jabs and tests. At 18 my step mother even wanted to have me injected for family planning. This was on of the many endless reasons why we fought. But moving in with Romeo brought all these things to a halt. Life was filled with bliss. He paid for my college and I cleared my course in journalism. I then began tarmacking in search of a job. He didn’t like it but I wasn’t going to spend all my time just taking care of him. I liked to get busy. And with my step mother’s help, I found a vacancy in one of the Porsche residential Hotels in the outskirts of our beautiful city Nairobi. I was very happy. I passed my interview by all means. The pretty face played a big role in this.
“All you need now is to have a medical check up. We need to know that you are fine. And if you have any allergies the doctor shall indicate that as well. It is a normal procedure. In two weeks time we shall be handed your results and you will start working with immediate effect” the handsome young white manager explained.
That wasn’t asking for too much. I was given directions to the business doctor’s clinic. This hotel was very well organized. They even had a Doctor for their staff. If one fell sick he/she would receive free consultation and treatment. The accounts office would sort him and it wouldn’t be deducted from the pay slip.
I already liked the idea of working as a waitress here. At least until I could find an attachment in a media house.
So I went straight to the clinic and had the medical check. They asked for my urine, which shook me a little as I remembered my last encounter with the same. But I confidently gave it to them. They also took my stool, only God knows why, and then withdrew quite an amount of my blood. Well went through the whole process successfully. I was only a little worried about the urine test. I was asked to come back after two weeks.
(To be continued……………………………)
Opening the door totally sobered me up. It was her. Julz. I was startled. I stood at the door like a stooge. She gave me suspicious look weighing me from top to bottom with a sneer. She shoved me to the side and walked straight into the bedroom where she found an even worse scene. At least I was in a towel. Romeo was in his full birthday suit. I quickly slipped into a dress and dashed to the kitchen. All I could hear was screams and bangs. The next thing I knew, Romeo was throwing out all her belongings and telling her straight to her face,
“It was over a long time ago. It just took me time to realize.”
She threw herself on the crying bitterly. She asked me why. How I could do this to her yet I was like a sister. I cried too. I was drowned in guilt. To date I swear, I didn’t mean for it to happen. Alcohol just tends to trick the mind sometimes. I wished I could explain to her but every time I tried to utter a word, I only cried out loud. The worst part was when Romeo asked me to shut the door when she leaves, and he locked himself in his room. I can’t help hating myself for that day. It was a day never to forget. Julliet humbly picked her belongings and bid me good bye. Her last words to me were,
“I only pity you”
I thought to myself that even if it was me in her shoes, I would have said the same. How could I be so stupid and so blind? How could I let this happen? The girl who saved me from my distress?
I blamed myself.
I locked the door behind her and Romeo walked out of his room apologizing to me. Whatever for I didn’t understand then. I was so confused. He gave me a tight hug repeating himself time and again,
“I am so sorry baby”
I burst into tears in his arms telling him that it was my fault. That I should have said no. That was the first time he uttered the three little words ‘I LOVE YOU’.
It took me time to recover but in the end I did. I moved into his room and was officially called his wife. (Come we stay) We build a strong love crazy about one another. Romeo was just perfect, all loving and romantic. He didn’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day to bring me roses. He didn’t sit back and watch me do the house chores. He used to have a guys night out but not after we fell in love. He worshiped the ground I walked on. He treasured and pampered me. He taught me how to shoot pool, taught me the art of making love. Being away from him for hours felt like days. I was that fond of his love. I felt like it was all too good to be true.
With time, I made introductions with my folks. He was an orphan but had an extended family which he introduced me to. Within about 4 months, we had a customary wedding. His family and mine met, exchanged gifts and blessed us. Now I felt like a wife. For my step mother, it was like she was more than glad that I had left the scene. Her family was now a nuclear one. I also felt relieved and settled. I remember I was the most suspected member of the family. They all used to look down on me. I would get tested every January and July for pregnancy, STD’s(even though I knew just one boy the), drugs and HIV. Once, my urine tested positive for substance abuse. I was given a thorough flogging for that and kicked out of the house. I didn’t mind it. In fact I enjoyed the peace and quiet.
I was now living in my own house with my own husband and I loved it. I was especially relived of those annual jabs and tests. At 18 my step mother even wanted to have me injected for family planning. This was on of the many endless reasons why we fought. But moving in with Romeo brought all these things to a halt. Life was filled with bliss. He paid for my college and I cleared my course in journalism. I then began tarmacking in search of a job. He didn’t like it but I wasn’t going to spend all my time just taking care of him. I liked to get busy. And with my step mother’s help, I found a vacancy in one of the Porsche residential Hotels in the outskirts of our beautiful city Nairobi. I was very happy. I passed my interview by all means. The pretty face played a big role in this.
“All you need now is to have a medical check up. We need to know that you are fine. And if you have any allergies the doctor shall indicate that as well. It is a normal procedure. In two weeks time we shall be handed your results and you will start working with immediate effect” the handsome young white manager explained.
That wasn’t asking for too much. I was given directions to the business doctor’s clinic. This hotel was very well organized. They even had a Doctor for their staff. If one fell sick he/she would receive free consultation and treatment. The accounts office would sort him and it wouldn’t be deducted from the pay slip.
I already liked the idea of working as a waitress here. At least until I could find an attachment in a media house.
So I went straight to the clinic and had the medical check. They asked for my urine, which shook me a little as I remembered my last encounter with the same. But I confidently gave it to them. They also took my stool, only God knows why, and then withdrew quite an amount of my blood. Well went through the whole process successfully. I was only a little worried about the urine test. I was asked to come back after two weeks.
(To be continued……………………………)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
So what? (2)
Her demise changed everything. I hardly remember much about her but I know that since her passing on, sadness dawned on us.
In 1987, the old man re-married. I thought my life was lonely, until the new wife checked in. Then I realized the true meaning of loneliness, the pain of being a step child. The torture was unbearable, but through it all, I survived.
Now living in my best friend’s boyfriend’s house? Sleeping on the couch? This felt like the climax. Julliet tried fixing me with dates, hook-ups but none seemed to work. My mind was too occupied in books and in my sorrows to even enjoy male company. I considered myself dormant in love life.
Though a cheerful, light-hearted extrovert whose emotions you could read as clearly on his face as if written in capital letters, Romeo had another side of him that remained mysterious. There were certain rules in his house that just had to be followed. For example, never to polish his shoes, never to go into his room, never to read ANY of his note books even if found lying anywhere in the house. I understood that his privacy was prime thus lived by these rules.
Until one day, in Juliet’s absence, He proposed that we go out for a drink. He was feeling down and just wanted to be out for a while. I also being in a similar mood agreed. We informed his girl who was ok with the plan even in her absence. One bottle led to another as we exchanged conversation. It was different this time as we simply shared deeply about life. I told him more about myself as he did the same. This made us friends. Good friends.
One outing led to another and another until it almost became a drinking spree. We got even closer to a point of dancing together. It was to fast music first, then to ragamuffin, then to slow music. Going out without Julliet became more fun as plenty of laughter filled the air. Smiles here and there, a beautiful feeling of joy warmed our hearts. Until one day, in a slow dance, he placed his lips on mine. For a split second I felt like I had been swept off my feet. The music sounded like twinkle-bells from heaven. Everything changed. Only for a split second and I quickly withdrew. I thought of my dear friend Julz. I thought of all she had done for me. Guilt struck me like lightening. I slowly walked back to our table and continued to sip on my drink quietly. We quickly cleared the round and went home. None of us utters a word. We remained silent all the way. This marked the beginning of my misery.
Days went by. We never mentioned a thing to Julz. But the tension only increased. We talked less Romeo and I. With worries that I might lose shelter yet again, I tried reconciling myself with family. It wasn’t fruitful. The couple on the other hand was constantly at loggerheads. Their fights got more physical than verbal. Sometimes it was so bad that she would miss coming over for two or three weekends. I tried talking to him about it but his reasons left me speechless. He said that he no longer loved her. That it was simply over.
I wondered how I would go on living in his house when he wasn’t in good terms with his girlfriend, my best friend. I was in a fix. My greatest fear was to have to start looking for shelter again. Julz kept asking me why I still lived there yet they were not in good terms. The girl constantly pestered me when we met up in school. She would constantly remind me that it was because of her I had a place to rest my head. I felt like she did it to push me to talk to Romeo. I did it but with very little or no luck. Her bad attitude towards me began getting to me.
One weekend, Romeo came home with serious liquor. I made dinner, we ate then began drinking. He began by really complementing my cooking. He told me how it was so much better than Julz. Then he told me that he liked the way I took care of things in the house. Then how beautiful I was and within no time, he admitted that he had fallen in love with me. Now with the alcohol speaking on my behalf, I responded by letting him know that I felt the same way about him. Of course one thing led to another and before we knew it, we were birth naked in bed.
(To be continued………..)
In 1987, the old man re-married. I thought my life was lonely, until the new wife checked in. Then I realized the true meaning of loneliness, the pain of being a step child. The torture was unbearable, but through it all, I survived.
Now living in my best friend’s boyfriend’s house? Sleeping on the couch? This felt like the climax. Julliet tried fixing me with dates, hook-ups but none seemed to work. My mind was too occupied in books and in my sorrows to even enjoy male company. I considered myself dormant in love life.
Though a cheerful, light-hearted extrovert whose emotions you could read as clearly on his face as if written in capital letters, Romeo had another side of him that remained mysterious. There were certain rules in his house that just had to be followed. For example, never to polish his shoes, never to go into his room, never to read ANY of his note books even if found lying anywhere in the house. I understood that his privacy was prime thus lived by these rules.
Until one day, in Juliet’s absence, He proposed that we go out for a drink. He was feeling down and just wanted to be out for a while. I also being in a similar mood agreed. We informed his girl who was ok with the plan even in her absence. One bottle led to another as we exchanged conversation. It was different this time as we simply shared deeply about life. I told him more about myself as he did the same. This made us friends. Good friends.
One outing led to another and another until it almost became a drinking spree. We got even closer to a point of dancing together. It was to fast music first, then to ragamuffin, then to slow music. Going out without Julliet became more fun as plenty of laughter filled the air. Smiles here and there, a beautiful feeling of joy warmed our hearts. Until one day, in a slow dance, he placed his lips on mine. For a split second I felt like I had been swept off my feet. The music sounded like twinkle-bells from heaven. Everything changed. Only for a split second and I quickly withdrew. I thought of my dear friend Julz. I thought of all she had done for me. Guilt struck me like lightening. I slowly walked back to our table and continued to sip on my drink quietly. We quickly cleared the round and went home. None of us utters a word. We remained silent all the way. This marked the beginning of my misery.
Days went by. We never mentioned a thing to Julz. But the tension only increased. We talked less Romeo and I. With worries that I might lose shelter yet again, I tried reconciling myself with family. It wasn’t fruitful. The couple on the other hand was constantly at loggerheads. Their fights got more physical than verbal. Sometimes it was so bad that she would miss coming over for two or three weekends. I tried talking to him about it but his reasons left me speechless. He said that he no longer loved her. That it was simply over.
I wondered how I would go on living in his house when he wasn’t in good terms with his girlfriend, my best friend. I was in a fix. My greatest fear was to have to start looking for shelter again. Julz kept asking me why I still lived there yet they were not in good terms. The girl constantly pestered me when we met up in school. She would constantly remind me that it was because of her I had a place to rest my head. I felt like she did it to push me to talk to Romeo. I did it but with very little or no luck. Her bad attitude towards me began getting to me.
One weekend, Romeo came home with serious liquor. I made dinner, we ate then began drinking. He began by really complementing my cooking. He told me how it was so much better than Julz. Then he told me that he liked the way I took care of things in the house. Then how beautiful I was and within no time, he admitted that he had fallen in love with me. Now with the alcohol speaking on my behalf, I responded by letting him know that I felt the same way about him. Of course one thing led to another and before we knew it, we were birth naked in bed.
(To be continued………..)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
SO WHAT?
Since I began this spot, part of my new years resolution is to activate it and keep it running.
I have two spots, 'whitetomatoe' and 'blacktomatoe'.
In blacktomatoe, I intend to share on the black side of my HIV status. Yes. I am HIV+ and have been for twelve years now. I discovered my status in August 1999.
I remember the that Indian Doctor told me straight in my face,
" YOU HAVE AIDS. JUST GO HOME, EAT WELL. EXERCISE AND AVOID DRINKING, AND YOU SHALL MAKE IT EVEN FIVE OR SIX YEARS MORE"
I smiled and said thank you but the moment I stepped out that door, I could no longer feel my feet. I felt like I was floating in the air. Just moving but not walking. Everything around me went DEAD SILENT. Tears rolling down my cheeks, yet I was laughing. Laughing at myself.
It all began with a plate of fries worth KSH.35 (less than a doller).
I had been kicked out of home by my Step folks and lived in the servants quaters. Food was upon me yet I had barely lived out of school. I struggled to pay my college fees by selling sandwiches. I barely made it.
My step mother had a cafe just outside the compound. I went and ordered for a plate of fries and munched like I had not seen food for days. I hadn't anyway. Just porridge and water. I ate so hungrily like it was a last me. Once stuffed, I stood up to walk out when one of the workers stopped me violently.
" Mama said ONLY her children are allowed free fries so you better pay up. I shall not agree to be deducted from my salary"
Angrily, I pushed him out of my way and told him to go and report me to the police for all I care. And the guy took to his heels and reported me to my mother!
Next thing I knew, I was kicked out of the quarters and my clothes thrown out.
HOMELESS! With nowhere to go and no one to turn to, I seeked shelter from a friend. Julliet (not real name) was a soft spoken, kind and understanding friend. She was in my college too. She couldn't think of a better idea than to ask her boyfriend who lived in a 1 bed roomed apartment, to accommodate me. This was because Julliet lived with her parents thus couldn't take me in herself. In fact her parents disliked me for untold reasons.
Romeo on the other hand (not real name), gladly took me in. He never talked much. On the days when Julliet wasn't with us, he'd eat whatever I cooked, complement it and go to sleep. In the morning, we would both leave the house almost at the same time as I went to college and him to work. He would drop me off as he kisses his Julliet before setting off to work.
For about a month, everything sailed smoothly.I washed our clothes but on weekend Julliet came over and we did general cleaning together. She would also be the one cooking and pampering her man while I cleaned up after her cooking. Romeo would sometimes take us out for a few drinks, or sometimes to the movies. On Sundays we would go out all day sometimes picnic and sometimes dance. Other times, I would let them go while I remained in the house just to have some time alone.
Even when they really tried to get my mind off things, sometimes I would just drift away into thoughts. Thoughts about how unfair my life was since my biological mother died of cancer when I was only 5yrs. She had just been married to this man for 3 years before she left us....
(To be continued)...............
I have two spots, 'whitetomatoe' and 'blacktomatoe'.
In blacktomatoe, I intend to share on the black side of my HIV status. Yes. I am HIV+ and have been for twelve years now. I discovered my status in August 1999.
I remember the that Indian Doctor told me straight in my face,
" YOU HAVE AIDS. JUST GO HOME, EAT WELL. EXERCISE AND AVOID DRINKING, AND YOU SHALL MAKE IT EVEN FIVE OR SIX YEARS MORE"
I smiled and said thank you but the moment I stepped out that door, I could no longer feel my feet. I felt like I was floating in the air. Just moving but not walking. Everything around me went DEAD SILENT. Tears rolling down my cheeks, yet I was laughing. Laughing at myself.
It all began with a plate of fries worth KSH.35 (less than a doller).
I had been kicked out of home by my Step folks and lived in the servants quaters. Food was upon me yet I had barely lived out of school. I struggled to pay my college fees by selling sandwiches. I barely made it.
My step mother had a cafe just outside the compound. I went and ordered for a plate of fries and munched like I had not seen food for days. I hadn't anyway. Just porridge and water. I ate so hungrily like it was a last me. Once stuffed, I stood up to walk out when one of the workers stopped me violently.
" Mama said ONLY her children are allowed free fries so you better pay up. I shall not agree to be deducted from my salary"
Angrily, I pushed him out of my way and told him to go and report me to the police for all I care. And the guy took to his heels and reported me to my mother!
Next thing I knew, I was kicked out of the quarters and my clothes thrown out.
HOMELESS! With nowhere to go and no one to turn to, I seeked shelter from a friend. Julliet (not real name) was a soft spoken, kind and understanding friend. She was in my college too. She couldn't think of a better idea than to ask her boyfriend who lived in a 1 bed roomed apartment, to accommodate me. This was because Julliet lived with her parents thus couldn't take me in herself. In fact her parents disliked me for untold reasons.
Romeo on the other hand (not real name), gladly took me in. He never talked much. On the days when Julliet wasn't with us, he'd eat whatever I cooked, complement it and go to sleep. In the morning, we would both leave the house almost at the same time as I went to college and him to work. He would drop me off as he kisses his Julliet before setting off to work.
For about a month, everything sailed smoothly.I washed our clothes but on weekend Julliet came over and we did general cleaning together. She would also be the one cooking and pampering her man while I cleaned up after her cooking. Romeo would sometimes take us out for a few drinks, or sometimes to the movies. On Sundays we would go out all day sometimes picnic and sometimes dance. Other times, I would let them go while I remained in the house just to have some time alone.
Even when they really tried to get my mind off things, sometimes I would just drift away into thoughts. Thoughts about how unfair my life was since my biological mother died of cancer when I was only 5yrs. She had just been married to this man for 3 years before she left us....
(To be continued)...............
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